Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Ideas For Our Time: Sell Booze to the Old and Deaf

Idea #715: Use age-discriminatory noise devices, which don't work on people-in-their-20s, to find out if people are permitted to buy alcohol or not.

This would reduce the need for:

a) Patronising notices/supervisors saying that I'm "lucky enough to look young" - too young for booze.

b) Ever-increasing age levels for ID. Look under 18? ID please. Look under 21 and so maybe under 18? ID please. Look under 25, and therefore under 21, and therefore under 18? ID please. Look dead, and therefore maybe alive, and therefore under 40, and therefore under 18? ID please.

c) Babies in supermarkets.

Hell, you could probably automate this somehow, and have drink-dispensing vending machines on the streets.


Richard Veryard said...

Retailers clearly have an urgent need to access the DNA of young people, to identify those with a genetic propensity to alcoholism or hooliganism, or who may be vulnerable to abuse. The UK government is rushing to make this information freely available to anyone with an RFID reader and an Internet connection.

Scribe said...

The first one's free. Once they realise there's a demand for this stuff, the government will be asking for money every time you legally hack into someone's past. Hey, that's the kind of thinking we need if we're going to compete in a global etc.